You've probably picked up your phone and put it back down more than once.
Maybe you typed "adoption agency" into a search bar at 2 a.m. and then closed the tab. Maybe you've been carrying this alone for weeks, and the idea of saying it out loud to a stranger feels like too much. If that's where you are right now, you're not doing anything wrong. That hesitation makes complete sense.
So let's take the mystery out of it. Here's exactly what happens when you call an adoption agency, what you'll be asked, what you won't be asked, and why picking up the phone commits you to absolutely nothing.
You Don't Have to Decide Anything to Call
This is the most important thing on this page, so it goes first: calling is not choosing adoption.
A phone call is a conversation. That's all. You can call because you're seriously considering an adoption plan. You can call because you're overwhelmed and don't know what your options even are. You can call to ask one question and hang up. You can call and say "I don't know why I'm calling." All of that is okay, and we've heard every version of it.
Nothing is set in motion by talking to someone. There's no paperwork, no commitment, and no one deciding anything for you. Every choice stays yours, at every step, and you can change your mind at any point.
What Actually Happens When You Call
When you call a small, licensed adoption agency like ours, a real person answers. Not a menu, not a queue, not a national call center reading from a script. At Open Arms, someone is available 24 hours a day, because we know the middle of the night is often when this feels heaviest.
The first thing that happens is simple: we listen. There's no intake interrogation, no pitch, and no pressure. Usually the person on the other end will just ask how you're doing and let you say as much or as little as you want. Some women talk for an hour. Some ask two questions and say they'll think about it. Both are completely fine.
The people you'll talk to at Open Arms have personally lived the adoption experience themselves. That's not a marketing line, it's the reason we understand the weight of what you're holding. You will not have to explain your situation to someone who's only read about it in a training manual.
What They'll Ask You
You might be bracing for a list of hard questions. In reality, a first call with an adoption counselor is gentle and practical.
You may be asked how far along you are, roughly where you're located (we serve Washington, Arizona, and Idaho), and how you're feeling about everything. That's mostly so we know what support might be available to you and what your state's law says about your rights. If there's something you don't want to answer, you can say so, and that's the end of it.
You will not be asked to justify your situation. No one will ask why you're considering adoption, judge your circumstances, or ask about your relationship, your finances, or your past in a way that feels like a test. You are not being evaluated. There's no version of your story that makes you a bad person here.
What You Can Ask Them
This call is as much yours as it is ours. Most women have the same questions, and you deserve straight answers to all of them.
Ask whether it costs you anything. (It doesn't, ever, and it never will.) Ask whether you can get help with expenses during your pregnancy. Ask who chooses the adoptive family. (You do.) Ask what openness could look like, and whether you could know your child as they grow. Ask what happens at the hospital. Ask what the legal process actually involves and exactly when a decision becomes final. Ask what happens if you change your mind.
Ask anything. A good adoption specialist will answer honestly, including when the answer isn't what you hoped. If you'd rather read first before talking to anyone, our guide to the adoption process lays out each step, and choosing a family explains how much of that decision is yours.
What Happens After the Call
Here's what happens after you hang up: whatever you want to happen.
If you want time, you take it. If you want to talk again next week, or next month, we're here. If you decide adoption isn't your path, that's a completely valid outcome, and we'll still help you find the resources you need. If you want to keep going, we'll walk through the next step at your pace, not ours.
Nobody will pressure you. Nobody will call you repeatedly to close a deal. That's not what this is, and honestly, it's the difference between a small agency where you're a person and a national service where you're a lead.
Why a Small Agency Feels Different
There are large national organizations that advertise heavily and route your call through a center. We're not that.
Open Arms is a small, licensed private agency serving Washington, Arizona, and Idaho. We have our own licensed social workers in-house. We're available around the clock. And because our staff have been through adoption personally, you're talking to someone who genuinely gets it, not someone performing empathy.
You're not a case number here. You never will be. If you're feeling overwhelmed right now, our guide on how to cope with an unplanned pregnancy was written for exactly this moment, and you can read it before you ever call.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does calling an adoption agency mean I'm choosing adoption?
No. A call is just a conversation. Nothing is set in motion, there's no paperwork, and you're not committing to anything. You can call simply to ask questions or understand your options.
What will they ask me on the first call?
Usually just how far along you are, roughly where you live, and how you're feeling. You can share as little as you want, and you'll never be asked to justify your situation.
Does it cost anything to call or to work with an agency?
No. Private adoption is completely free for expectant mothers, and it always will be. You'll never be asked to pay for anything.
Can I change my mind after I call?
Yes, absolutely. You can change your mind at any point, including well after that first call. Every decision remains yours throughout the entire process.
What if I call and I'm not sure what to say?
That's completely normal, and it's okay. You don't need a script. Most women start with "I don't really know where to begin," and that's a perfectly good place to start.
When You're Ready, We're Here
There's no perfect moment to make this call, and you don't need to have your thoughts organized or your mind made up. You're allowed to just be where you are.
We're here 24 hours a day, with no judgment and no pressure, and talking to us commits you to nothing at all. Call or text whenever you're ready at 206.492.4196, or reach out through our contact page if that feels easier than talking.
