If you just found out you’re pregnant, and it wasn’t part of the plan, we want you to know something right away—you are not alone, and you don’t have to have all the answers today.
An unplanned pregnancy can feel like the ground just shifted beneath your feet. You might be scared, confused, or overwhelmed with feelings you weren’t expecting. Perhaps you’re not sure who to contact. Maybe you’re worried about what people will think. Whatever you’re feeling right now is completely valid—and it’s okay to take a breath before you make any decisions.
At Open Arms Adoption Agency, we’ve walked alongside hundreds of women facing this exact moment. Our staff members have personal experience with adoption, so when we say we understand—we truly mean it. This guide is here to help you explore your unplanned pregnancy options with clarity, compassion, and zero judgment.
Facing an Unintended Pregnancy? You Have Three Options
When facing an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, the most important thing to remember is this: only you can make this decision. Not your parents, not your partner, not anyone else. This is your life, your body, and your future—and you deserve the time and space to make the best decision for yourself.
About half of all women in the United States will experience an unintended pregnancy at some point in their lives. You are not the first person to stand where you’re standing right now, and you won’t be the last. Millions of women have walked this road before you—and they found their way through. You will too.
There are three options that most pregnant people consider: parenting, adoption, and abortion. In this guide, we’ll walk through each one so you have accurate information to help you make a decision. But we want to be honest with you—at Open Arms, we’ve seen how adoption can be a beautiful, life-giving choice for both mother and child, and we believe it deserves a closer look than most people give it.
Option 1: Parenting After an Unplanned Pregnancy
Choosing to raise your child is a deeply personal decision that comes with both incredible rewards and real challenges. Parenting requires love, patience, sacrifice, and a willingness to put your child’s needs at the center of your life.
If you’re considering parenting, there are some important considerations. Do you have a support system? Having family members, friends, or a community around you can make a tremendous difference—research shows that a strong support system helps reduce the risk of postpartum depression and positively impacts your mental health during early parenthood.
Are you in a place financially where you can provide for a child? The cost of raising a baby can range from $1,000 to $2,000 per month in the early years, depending on your age, location, and circumstances. Programs such as Medicaid, WIC, and local social services can help, but it’s important to be honest with yourself about your readiness.
How will parenting affect your personal goals and aspirations? Your dreams matter. Your education matters. Your future matters. Choosing to parent means embracing all of those things alongside the beautiful responsibility of raising a child.
If parenting is the right path for you, that’s a wonderful choice. But if you’re feeling uncertain—if something in your heart is telling you that you’re not ready right now—that feeling deserves to be honored too. Being honest about where you are is one of the bravest things you can do.
Option 2: Choosing Adoption—A Loving Choice You Control
Here’s something most people don’t realize about adoption: it is not “giving up.” Choosing adoption is one of the most courageous, selfless, and loving decisions a mother can make. It means saying, “I love my baby so much that I want to give them the very best life possible—even if that means choosing a family who is ready to provide what I can’t right now.”
At Open Arms, we’ve watched this kind of love change lives—the life of the child, the life of the adoptive family, and the life of the birth mother who made it all possible. Adoption is not an ending. It’s a beginning.
You Are in Control of Every Decision
One of the biggest fears women have about the adoption process is losing control. We want to put that fear to rest right now. When you work with Open Arms, you are in control of every single decision.
You choose the family. You’ll review profiles of loving, vetted adoptive parents and select the family that feels right to you. You decide the level of openness—whether you want ongoing contact through open adoption, periodic updates through semi-open adoption, or more privacy through a closed adoption. You create your adoption plan, and your preferences guide the entire process.
Adoption Costs You Nothing
Many women are not yet aware that adoption costs nothing for birth mothers. All pregnancy-related expenses—medical care, housing assistance, and other support—are typically covered. You will never be asked to pay for any part of the adoption process. The adoptive family covers the costs, and there is an available $17,000 IRS adoption tax credit to help them.
You Can Change Your Mind
This is so important: you can change your mind during the legally defined consent period. No one at Open Arms will ever pressure you. If at any point you decide that parenting is the right choice, we will support that decision with the same love and care. Your autonomy matters more than anything.
What Does the Adoption Process Actually Look Like?
The adoption process with Open Arms is designed to feel supportive, not scary. It typically looks like this: you reach out to us—by phone, text, or through our website—with no pressure and no commitment. We talk, we listen, and we answer your questions. If you decide adoption might be right for you, we help you explore adoptive family profiles and create a plan that reflects your wishes.
Open Arms has our own licensed social workers who handle home studies across Washington and Arizona, so every family you consider has been thoroughly vetted for your peace of mind. You’ll receive support before, during, and after placement—including at the hospital, where your comfort and wishes are the top priority.
Life After Placement
We won’t sugarcoat it—placement can bring feelings of grief and loss, and that is completely normal. But birth mothers who work with a compassionate adoption agency that provides ongoing support often describe a deep sense of peace knowing they made a loving choice for their child. Many birth mothers maintain beautiful relationships with their child’s adoptive family for years to come through open adoption.
At Open Arms, the journey doesn’t end at placement. We provide support after placement because we believe you deserve care long after the paperwork is signed.
A Word About Abortion
We know that abortion is one of the three options women consider when facing an unplanned pregnancy, and we want to be straightforward with you. While abortion—whether medical abortion or surgical abortion—is a legal procedure and abortion services vary by state, we believe there is a better path—one that honors both you and your baby.
Choosing adoption means your child gets to live a beautiful life with a family that has been praying and preparing for them. It means you become the hero of their story. Many women who choose abortion experience difficult feelings afterward—guilt, sadness, and a sense of loss that can linger. Adoption allows you to move forward knowing you chose life and love for your child, while also receiving the support and care you deserve throughout the process.
If you’re considering your pregnancy options and feeling pulled in different directions, we gently encourage you to talk with us before making a decision. A single helpful conversation with someone who cares—someone who has been through this—can make all the difference. There is no pressure, no judgment, and absolutely no commitment. Just a real person on the other end of the line who wants to help.
How to Make a Decision: Other Things to Consider
Making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy is one of the hardest things a woman can face. Here are some things that may help as you work through it.
Give yourself time. You don’t have to decide today. Take the time you need to sit with your feelings, gather accurate information, and talk to people you trust. Don’t let anyone rush you into a choice you’re not ready for.
Consider your goals and aspirations. What do you want for your life? What dreams are you working toward? There are other things to consider, too—your living situation, your relationships, your age, and your emotional readiness. All of it matters.
Talk to someone you trust. Whether that’s a friend, family member, counselor, or doctor, having someone to discuss your feelings with can be incredibly helpful and healing. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Seek judgment-free support. Be cautious about where you get your information. Some crisis pregnancy centers—sometimes called fake clinics—may provide biased or misleading information. Look for resources that respect your autonomy and present all options honestly. Planned Parenthood and family planning clinics can provide medical care, while an adoption agency like Open Arms provides compassionate, personalized guidance with no strings attached.
Listen to your heart. It’s normal to feel confused, scared, or uncertain. These emotional problems are a natural response to a difficult situation. There is no single “right” answer—only what is right for you. Trust yourself.
Prenatal Care, Birth Control, and Alternative Care Resources
No matter what you’re considering, taking care of your health during pregnancy and preparing for childbirth are important for both you and your baby. Even if you haven’t made a decision yet, seeing a doctor early—ideally in your first trimester—can help confirm how far along you are based on your last period and make sure you’re getting the medical care you need.
Many clinics and community health centers offer free or low-cost prenatal care. Medicaid, WIC, and local social services programs can connect you with helpful, affordable resources in your area. Birth control counseling is also available if you want to discuss preventing future unintended pregnancies. If you’re working with Open Arms, we can also help connect you with the care and support you need—because your well-being matters to us at every stage.
Additional Resources from Planned Parenthood and Other Support Services
You don’t have to navigate an unplanned pregnancy by yourself. There are many resources and services available to help pregnant people, no matter where they are in their journey.
Your doctor or a local clinic can provide medical advice and prenatal care. Community organizations and social services can help with housing, food assistance, and other practical concerns that affect your daily life. Trusted friends and family members can provide the emotional support you need as you work through this decision.
And if you want to talk to someone who truly understands what you’re going through—someone who has been in your shoes and come out the other side—Open Arms is here. We provide alternative care and support for expectant mothers exploring all of their options, with special expertise in helping women discover the beauty and power of choosing adoption.
Open Arms Adoption Agency Is Here for You
At Open Arms Adoption Agency, we exist for one reason: to love and support women like you through one of the most important decisions of your life. Our staff members aren’t just professionals—they’re people with personal adoption experience who bring their whole hearts to this work.
We serve women across the Western United States, including Washington and Arizona. Whether you’re just beginning to explore your unplanned pregnancy options or you’ve already started to make a decision, we would love to hear from you.
There’s no pressure. No judgment. No commitment. Just real, honest, loving support from people who care about you and your baby’s future.
Call or text us anytime—day or night—at 206.492.4196. We’re here because we believe every woman deserves someone in her corner. Let us be that for you.
